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Intimacy

November 12, 2013

I’m searching for ways in which to express intimacy, as a couple are want to do, within a cuckolding relationship. 
I find great need in the physical connection of sex, fucking especially. Sharing and allowing access of our physical selves with another person who on the same level solidifies a “partnership”, to me at least. 

I will be honest, the lack of physical equality with my husband is one of the two biggest stumbling blocks I encounter in cuckolding and there have been times I have felt a distance that radiates into all part of our life together. 

There are a few options I can see; to refocus the intimacy elsewhere or to have “time out” periods.
As hubby’s sexuality plays out in his head mostly I fear that “time out” option would be too jarring, therefore I’m looking for help in finding the intimacy I crave in other ways.

I have found, through various other blogs, that some cuckoldresses will “allow” sex, say, anal sex, so as to be “practiced” for her bull. Another imaginative escapade is for her cuck to provide himself as a helper in order for her to be photographed in suggestive ways to send to her bull. 

Of course there is always the good ol’ fashioned oral sex, face sitting and pussy servicing. This is not my favourite activity so poor hubby isn’t utilized nearly as often as he would love to be. 

Do you, faithful followers, internet-land inhabitants, have any other suggestions? Commiserations? Stories?

Until then, 

Pearl

13 comments

  1. Me using toys on her and/or fingers while she masturbates me seems to bring on a sense of intimacy, as does outercourse. Do you and your husband go “all the way” or is penetration not a part of your relationship?


    • Penetration is allowed but I have a difficult time finding the intimacy as hubby likes to be a stuntcock. In this circumstance I may as well be having sex with a dildo who’s not my husband lol
      – Pearl


      • What do you mean by a “stunkcock?”


  2. Cuckolding doesn’t require complete denial of the husband. It just means you are free to have sex with others while he remains faithful. He may have a denial fetish, however. If that’s the case, I think you two just need to figure out how to satisfy the denial fetish while allowing intimacy between you to flourish. As to a on again/off again strategy, that sounds not likely to work for a lot of reasons. You need a sustainable plan.


    • It doesn’t require complete denial but for some couples leaving penetration off the table is more satisfying than having it as an option.


    • Yes, I agree, Alan Gay, that the “time out” wouldn’t work very well. It would probably be quite disorientating.
      Also, yes, he has a denial fetish if you will. To that end I have asked for more non-sexual touching as part of our every day lives and have actively been searching for someone else to fuck me the way that I crave, in a lustful, wanton, I can’t get enough of you, intimate way.
      -Pearl


      • What my partner and I found was that because of the cuckolding dynamic penetration between us did not create the same sense of intimacy that other acts do. What works for us is having time when we are pleasuring each other but not talking about the cuckolding aspect of our relationship – just focusing on how much we both like each other and emonstrating that with hands, fingers or toys. Obviously, the fact that penetration won’t happen is in the back of our minds, but what really matters is spending time pleasing each other when we aren’t talking about her other lovers. That’s not a time out from cuckolding, just establishing that there is a connection beyond sexual fetish.


  3. Good question, Drunkexpatwriter, I’ll get hubby to answer that question :)
    -Pearl


    • In the meantime maybe making penetration forbidden while also telling him it’s his job to find ways to give you that level of intimacy in the bedroom without penetration might be the way to go – it would kick in with the submissive fantasy of being told what to do while also motivating him to bring intimacy back leading to more sexual experimentation.


      • Here I am. Pearl says I have a questions to answer:
        What is a stunt cock?
        In BDSM play spaces the expression “Stunt Bottom” is used to refer to a bottom who participates for the purpose of teaching a seminar. If the seminar is on flogging then the person teaching the flogging course might need a stunt bottom to demonstrate the art of correct flogging on. The similarity between “Stunt Bottom” and “Stunt Cock” is that this is not for the bottom or cock but rather everyone else in the room. In most stunt cock cases, just one person. As a stunt cock I must be ready, hard and erect at all times during the play. Able to fuck for as long as she or group wants without cumming. Masturbate for others enjoyment as fast or as slow as directed – again without release. Service the other person(s) sexually without any thought to reciprocation. Sex slave or sexual service submissive is the words I prefer to use. Pearl came up with the term Stunt Cock for me.

        I have been asked to participate in this type of play with others outside our relationship. I fit in well in scene play because of previous experience and etiquette. I have a decent athletic, slim, smooth body. I can be shaped into any scene. What Pearl believes is that I am acting as a “Stunt Cock” for her when we have sex. This is not true. Again, “Stunt Cock” is not my term.

        The sexual intimacy being discussed here is the ability to please one another in a way that only we know how to do for each other. Our shared experiences, intimate knowledge, trust and passions for each other are what make this happen. Our personal joys may be very different but the path can be the same. This is why it’s said the brain is the largest sex organ we have. Sex is not just about sensation. Almost anyone can provide sensation.

        Yes, I don’t think denial is a fetish for me, I just really think it’s fun. Ruined orgasm or being made to masturbate to orgasm after we have sex is also fun an intimate. Even though Peal doesn’t like the feel of dildos I am willing to bet there is a lifelike hollow cock sheath out there somewhere we could find that would be acceptable to her. Maybe we should try NOT to find one that feels like a real cock but rather find one that feels great in its own way. It might take a couple of tries with each one. Did sex with real cocks feel good right away or did it take a while? It would be fun trying different ones out along the way. Again, the brain is the largest sex organ we have and intimacy is our special thing.


  4. What about combine penetrative sex with denial? Have husband wear a harness w/ strapon dildo (one advantage: a multitude of sizes different from his for you enjoyment/fulfillment).

    If you’re into it, combine with chastity (a trinity of fetishes: cuckolding, denial, chastity) to keep his cock safely caged & out of the way.

    Lastly, you could try a cock sheath (Google: black mamba cock sheath or similar) which allows a bit more “participation” on his part while retaining the denial/stunt aspects…

    Enjoy!


  5. Hi. You have an amazing blog. I just scrolled through the entire thing, reading a fair amount, all the way to the beginning, I think 2007. My complements to you for keeping up with the blog – it is truly enlightening. Whether I was a porn-fetish-ist or just interested in people, and I am both, the chronicle of your relationship and sexuality is fascinating.

    Since I saw a post where you wrote that people look but don’t comment, I wanted to leave a comment. I hope that both of you are happy and sweet to one another – obviously, comprehending how you (plural for the entire post) do “it” is not entirely clear to me, though not because I don’t want to comprehend it.


  6. ” Sharing and allowing access of our physical selves with another person who on the same level solidifies a “partnership”, to me at least. ” You said this and this is the reason why cuckold often destroys a marriage sooner or later. I do not know one single old married couple who engaged in cuckolding as a lifestyle. Those that did all got divorced and not just once but multiple times.

    Women in particular tend to form emotional bonds with their sex partners. Having sex with a man does form a partnership with the man just as you say. Before you know it, you are no longer just having sex to satisfy your husband’s cuckold fantasy but find yourself making love to your new partners that you now have feelings for. I have met women who I was instantly attracted to. Some sort of chemical attraction that made me want them even though I knew it would end badly. Stuff like that happens even if you do not want it to.

    Our best friends were into wife swapping and the husband continued to see a wife he was with once while his wife was having an affair with her boss who made a lot more money and was better in bed. Guess who she ended up with? It happens. We thought that they would never separate and yet they did.

    I set my wife up with a friend once because she never experienced another man other than me. She went through the ordeal and hated it. She declared that I would be the only man in her life as I fulfilled all that she wanted from a husband. She felt safe with me, felt loved and I was a good provider who spoiled her with luxuries as well as love. I felt great. I would not want to be married to a woman who felt that I was not enough for her. Why even bother to be married. We could just be roommates as sexual fidelity and compatibility is a very important part of marriage. Remove that and what do you have left? A roommate with benefits?

    My wife is fiercely loyal to her lovers. I was her only male lover and her girlfriend, her only female lover. Her girlfriend had found and married a cuckold who was recently divorced by his cuckoldress who ran off with one of her non submissive lovers. He was informed of his wife to be relationship and was happy that it was with the same couple and that I was sterile so no worries about pregnancy. He felt that there was little chance that he would be left again since his wife was with a couple and not just a guy.

    I hung out with lots of sexually different people in my lifetime. Heck, I never even had a girlfriend who was not bisexual. I never saw anyone who wife shared, as it was called back then, remain married. I am sure it can work for some but I bet that it does not work well for most for the very reason you stated as being important to feeling close to your husband. You have already experienced how you are distancing yourself from your husband. It usually gets worse and as one friend told me, it got to the point that when his wife was basking in the after glow of her orgasms, cuddling with her lover and whispering things in his ear, she would often forget that he was there in the room with them and that is when he knew the end was near. He talked to her but she was not about to give up her lover for him.

    Just take care.



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