Why did the monkey throw the clock out of the window?

June 6, 2007

I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I last posted, well, yes, I can believe, in a way it seems like forever.

Everyone has always heard the warnings that once married your sex life decreases dramatically. I was so sure I would easily dodge that bullet for a number of reasons: I enjoy my sex life, I enjoy bucking “the trend” and I don’t like to be too predictable.

But there you have it, last month I realized life had gotten ahead of my libido and I found myself too tired at the end of a long day and too ashamed of my body since I’ve put on copious amounts of weight.

Embarrassment of my body+not much free time=no sex with other men

I keep reassuring Hubby that I haven’t forgotten about this kink of ours and that it *will* happen again, I just can’t promise when it will be.
I’m not one to become intimate with someone just to check an item off my “to-do” list….

It’s a strange response I’ve found myself with, when I’m overwhelmed with projects and deadlines any kink that involves power play  ceases to interest me. I  lose my desire to “put Hubby in his place” as well as any I might have had to have a nice, sound spanking myself. I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that 😉



  1. Pearl,

    It must be a lot of pressure to always have to be the hot cuckoldress. I tried getting back with my girlfriend and she experienced a similar lack of libido even after breaking up with her temporary boyfriend. We’re very loving at the moment but no sex. While watching a movie, I told her about my true willingess to have her sleep with other men,which seems to make her feel better. But I’m not expecting any sex anytime soon. I was wondering. Do you still have enough of a libido to sleep with your husband?

  2. Copious amounts of weight? No way baby!

    I still think you are sexy. I should post a picture to prove it. 😉

    Curious George
    We do have sex together although it has declined in frequency. Nothing is perfectly consistent. Life ebbs and flows.

    Considering her amount of stress right now, I am surprised at the amount of sexual interest she manages to pull off. (pun intended)

  3. Hello there..I came across your blog tonight and enjoyed reading it. It’s nice to hear that there are other kink-friendly couples here in Vancouver.

    My wife and I have been married for almost 15 years (and have been a couple for 22 years), and we’ve found that our libidos have peaks and valleys. Work stress, kids, and other distractions can push one or both of us into one of those valleys, and it can be hard to break out of. When that happens, we find breaking out of our routine sometimes helps us get out libidos back up again. A romantic weekend away together or even just an evening of pampering at home can help get things back on the right track.

    Just my $0.02 worth…hope it helps. 🙂

  4. Hi to both of you,

    I really enjoy your blog. I’m one of your loyal fans. Don’t ask me how it happened, but a friend of mine and me have been working on this little story. The first entry is hers and the second is mine. I’m still waiting for her response. I hope this helps trigger some libidinous thoughts, Pearl. If you like it, I’ll send you the next chapter, whenever I get it.


    Her entry:

    I’ve always been suspicious of good-looking men–if they pay any attention to me I assume they’re either mocking me or that they’ve got some ulterior motive. I’m cute, but I’m not some gorgeous sex goddess–so why would such a hot guy even notice me? Maybe that’s part of what I like about him–he’s incredibly hot–but he’s kind of an asshole. Somehow it makes sense to me when he acts like a jerk–as if it’s the price I pay for his attention. He’s arrogant but again that’s part of his appeal–he knows what he wants and assumes he’ll get it (and he usually does). And for some reason, he’s decided he wants me. And that makes me feel sexy, powerful, beautiful. So when he kisses me in the stacks, having lured me back there to help him locate the products liability books, I kiss him back, feeling deliciously wicked.

    My ex broke my heart and this new affair is liberating. I’m not under any illusions that me and the Hottie are going to fall madly in love and have a houseful of kids. Please. We’re both in this for the sex. God knows it’s been a while and girl’s got needs… and the idea of a meaningless fuck is a lot more attractive than the idea of lying alone in my bed, frustrated, and with only my own hands for relief.

    The Hottie’s aggressive and I like that–I feel like I can be a little dirtier, a little sluttier with him. As we kiss, he squeezes me ass in his hands and pulls my hips tight against his. I can feel him already getting hard against me. I respond my grinding into him a little and sucking on his tongue. He pulls back from me and laughs, “You’re a little animal, aren’t you?” I smile and kiss him again, drawing his lower lip into my mouth and biting down on it pulling at it with my teeth. He reaches for me, wanting to pull me against him, but I squirm away, grin at him and head back to my desk. On the way, I hurry to straighten my clothes and smooth down my hair.

    When I make it back to the front, you’re sitting at your desk, working on some project. You glance up as I sit down; our eyes meet and I know you know what I’ve been up to. But I also sense that it excites you. I’m a little ashamed but I also want to flaunt my flushed skin, swollen lips and touseled hair, almost as if to tease you with what you can’t have.

    Or can you?

    It’s not as if the Hottie would be jealous–I know he’s got other women. And hell, if I can have him, why can’t I have you, too? I know you like me. And I think you’re cute and sweet and you make me laugh. I bet you’d be a tender, gentle lover. Perfect foil to the Hottie’s rough, animalistic style. Just thinking about having both of you has me unconsciously pressing my crotch against my desk chair. I’m getting even wetter. Part of me knows it’d wrong, but the other part doesn’t care. What’s wrong with a little pleasure? I’ve been the good girl all my life–it’s time to get a little wild.

    The Hottie passes us on his way out of the library, a wide grin on his handsome face. “See you guys later” he says to us but then adds, “See you tonight, Monica” and winks at me before leaving the library. I blush, and glance over at you from the corner of my eye. You’re staring at me. Rather than look quickly away, I turn to face you. It’s late in the day and no patrons are in the library. I get up from my desk and walk over to you, my hips swaying in a slow, sultry manner. I come around behind your chair and place one hand on your shoulder. You stiffen but don’t pull away. Slowly, I lean down, my lips just brushing your ear, and whisper, “I’m going to fuck him. Does that make you jealous?” I use the tip of my tongue to trace the edge of your ear. Your breath catches and…

    My response:

    …and I feel my whole body stiffen and become taut. I’ve been wanting you since the first day when we made fun of that silly training video during orientation. It had been a while since I laughed like that, enjoyed the company of a woman so much.

    I hate him and his stupid nickname — “Hottie.” That’s the word you use to describe him on the phone with whomever you gab to on your cell. I hate it because it sounds like you feel lucky to be with him, like you don’t deserve him. If only you knew how wrong you were about that. And this guy is such a jerk, believe me. Why did you have to fall for him? I’ve seen H in the gym at work and we play on the firm’s soccer team. Over a couple of beers after one of our games, I stupidly ended up telling him how I wanted to go to law school and how my LSAT score hadn’t been good enough. At the time, I thought he was pretty cool – not stuck up like all these other Ivy-league types at the firm. But now I know he was patronizing me. In fact, somehow he knew about my crush on you. How could that be? I didn’t know at the time but I was sure of it. Some part of me thinks that that’s why he’s doing this, because he wants to rub my nose in the fact that he can have you, and I can’t. Like all the other things he gets to have that somehow seem off-limits to me. If there were any bit of justice in the world, this would not be happening.

    But it is. I didn’t need all those cell phone conversations to figure it out. My God, today was the second time you made out with him in the stacks. The last time it happened, I initially thought you had forgotten about my project of organizing the law reviews way back in the stacks on the bottom floor of the library. It was so quiet, I could hear everything. The little noises you made. It was so clear how excited you were. Of course, I had to look. I kept coming closer until I was in the row right behind you. My heart was beating so quickly. I see could the two of you partially obscured through the books. And you weren’t just kissing. You seemed like two fevered adolescents, your bodies almost melded together. And then he said it. “What are you going to tell Steve? You’re gonna break his poor little heart.”

    You told him! Why? Before I could ponder that question, his hand started going under your skirt. I was sure you’d stop him and not allow him to take such a liberty with you. What exactly was his hand doing for crissake, anyway? It was hard to see. But then I knew where it was from your voice. The short, quick little breathes. And then those longer moans. I can still hear it perfectly. Finally, you let out these machine-gun breathes and then that loud shriek. If anyone was on the floor they would have heard it!

    The whole weekend I played the scene over and over again in my mind. It became clear to me that you hadn’t forgotten about my project. You brought him downstairs precisely because you wanted me to hear and maybe even see. That’s also why you were so careless with all those phone conversations. You’re so damn proud of H that you want everyone to know, even me.

    Yeah, he’s good looking. Okay, very good looking. You think I don’t know that? And I’ve seen his body in the locker room. He just talks and talks without any clothes on. I’ve never understood guys like that. I tried not to look, but I saw what he has. It makes me cringe thinking about it. What it might feel like inside of you. I’ve been wondering constantly about whether you two have fucked. At first, the way his hand had gotten you off so effortlessly in the stacks, I thought the answer had to be yes. But just now, I realized you haven’t been with him. Of course not. You would have already found a way to tell me. “I’m going to fuck him. Does that make your jealous?” Hell yes it does, you wench!

    I can’t recall being this engorged. How I would love to shoot some witty barb back your way and cut you down to size. I’m always the quick one, but I’ve been rendered speechless. What do I do? Do I try to kiss you? Make I should carry you back in the stacks and give you the rough treatment. That’s what you like, isn’t it? I can do that, but it’s true that I am also gentle. I’m about to say something, but before I can get the words out I hear you say, “Mr. Crower, how can I help you?”

    What is he doing here? Partners never come to the library and certainly not at this time of day. He’s babbling on about needing a tax treatise and then you tell him I’ll get it for him. “It’s on the last shelf on the right, sir.” I hope that will do it, because I can’t really stand up now if you know what I mean. “Steve, please show him where it is.” So when did you become my boss? I know I’m stuck, so I just try to make the best of it and do this quick little move out of my chair and walk hunched over leading Tax Guy to his book. Did you catch the bulge in my pants? Are you going to compare it to H’s tonight? Maybe you were teasing me and you won’t take the final plunge.

    As I walk back to get the book, I realize I’ve been hearing something. I didn’t quite perceive it at first with all the blood rushing in my ears. But now I can hear it distinctly. That giggle. You’ve been laughing the whole time. You think it’s absolutely hilarious about my latest bit of humiliation. And then I have no doubt. I know to a moral certainty that Mr. H’s cock is going to be inside you tonight…..

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