I’m RealJanuary 23, 2009
Sometimes I get tired from “playing”. I guess it means I’m not a through and through Dominant or I’m not a dyed-in-the-wool cuckoldress.
I worry about letting Richard down by telling him that tonight I don’t want to humiliate him, I just want to love him and have sex with him. It’s a break from the role. I break I seem to need more often than he does.
But it’s me doing the work. It’s me engaging in relationships with other men and that takes emotional and physical energy.
And sometimes I wonder why it is that DH would rather see me having sex with someone else than have sex with me himself?
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this fetish. Just not 24/7.
Sometimes I need a break. I need to be taken care of and not because it’s his job, but because he’s my partner.
I’m sure we’ll work on a routine, a way to signal the departure from our “roles” without it being jarring or confusing.
We’ll find a way.
And I’ll get to recharge 🙂